Bratz!

The best definition I could find of these vinyl whores came from the Urban Dictionary:

A new doll line that debuted around 2001, to compete with Barbie. Bratz dolls are designed for tweens of this generation, who are learning about sex, drugs, and violence at such an early age now that traditional princess-type dolls no longer represent reality.

Bratz dolls come with clothes that are skimpy and trampy looking, and there is no alternative. You can't buy any Bratz clothes that cover their bodies properly, or look conservative.

Bratz were supposed to release their first full length feature film this year, I never saw it. However, I did see the “cinematic gem” BRATZ ROCKSTAR ANGELZ the other night and I began to wonder how these disproportionate whores came onto the market, this what I found this poorly written article that I combined with my own smart ass comments added in every now and again!

Size of Bratz Dolls: Bratz dolls are 10" in height, but have a much more "chunky" (Less boobs more “junk in the trunk”) feel than Barbie dolls which are 11.5" in height. There is also a pocket-sized "mini Bratz" (Tiny ho’s) doll available. (Also available, GAINT BRATZ these things look like small children with abnormally large heads and super slutty outfits)

Years of Production of Bratz Dolls: Bratz dolls began production in the summer of 2001, and they are produced by MGA Entertainment.

Materials and Characteristics of Bratz Dolls: Bratz dolls are made of vinyl--hard vinyl for the head and body with softer, bendable vinyl for the arms and legs. (Naturally) Bratz dolls also have a unique feature--when you change their shoes, you actually change their feet--the shoes and feet pop off as one (WTF?!?!). This obviously isn't very realistic, but it is fun for play and it does solve the problem of tiny doll shoes being vacuumed up all over the house. (If the dolls are only 10” would the feet still not be able to feel the wrath of a vacuum? Or are their feet as proportional as their heads? Which, are GIANT)

Controversies about Bratz Dolls: Bratz dolls are somewhat controversial because of their heavy diva-like (Diva-like? I don’t think Mimi wore that much eye shadow) makeup and their “oh-I'm-so-bored” (Is that what it's supposed ot be? I thought it was more of a "come hither" expression!) heavy attitude expressions. Many mothers have also objected to the skimpy and/or overly "fashionista" outfits. (AKA my daughter’s playing with something you would find on a hooker run, except with a bigger head and feet that pop off!) Other mothers are simply so happy to have their 9-12 year old daughters still playing with dolls that they happily overlook those aspects of the doll. (Um, I’ve yet to see a 9-12 year old play with these things, and the movies are defiantly not geared towards that age group, although Rockstar Angelz did have a woman fall down an elevator, the only highlight of the movie I might add!) Whatever mothers think 9-12 year old girls are crazy about Bratz dolls!

A couple things I have to argue with this “Expert on Bratz dollzzzz”

1. Have you ever seen a 9-12 year old playing with these things? I sure haven’t although I did see a six year old in McDonalds one year with one, and they were about the same height! I had to do a double take because the dolls head was so abnormally large.
2. If these dolls are geared towards the “tween” generation, why are we telling them dressing like slutty ho bags is the way to go?
   

All in all, I give the BRATZ ROCKSTAR ANGELZ a solid 4.5 out of 10. It would be lower but the stereotypes, over use of pink to portray evil, and old woman falling down an elevator shaft make it tolerable! However, I think my kids are going to play with Tamagotchi’s!